Discreet Polar Bear Pillow Sex Machine Review

I recently had the chance to unbox an intriguing new product—a bear-themed sex toy—and let me tell you, it was an experience from start to finish. The first thing I noticed when the package arrived was its size. This thing is huge. It came in a large box, and I couldn’t help but marvel at its oversized packaging. I did a preliminary check to ensure the box was intact before diving into the full unboxing…..

What’s in the Box?

Now for the contents of the box. Inside, I found:

• A bear-shaped toy wrapped in its own protective bag. (They also have Doll Fox Pillow With Hidden Dildo)
• A few extras, including a charging cable, a remote control, and even a couple of condoms. (Yes, the bear comes with condoms.)
• A luggage lock, which was a bit surprising. More on that later.

The instructions, though full of quirky translations, were informative. One notable feature is that the bear has a heating function, which takes 5-10 minutes to warm up. There are also buttons to control thrusting, vibration, and cleaning functions. The cleaning feature even pushes the internal components out for easier access—a nice touch.

The Bear’s Accessories

The bear itself—the box contained some odd but handy accessories. One of the strangest additions was a tiny luggage lock. This is apparently for securing the bear in a body bag that comes with it. Yes, the bear has its own bear-shaped body bag, complete with a lock for privacy.

The bear also came with some soft, stretchy clothes—what appeared to be bear panties—which felt surprisingly nice to the touch.

Size and Features

The Polar Bear is large and heavier than expected, weighing around 7 or 8 pounds. Most of the weight seems to be concentrated in the lower part, likely due to the internal motors and mechanisms. The bear is soft to the touch, which adds to its overall appeal.

The remote control uses a CR2025 battery, which I didn’t have on hand. After a quick teardown of the remote, I discovered that it’s a simple radio frequency (RF) remote, which could be a lot of fun for future modifications. I’m hoping to test if this could be paired with other devices for some creative experiments.

As for the bear itself, it requires four hours of charging for two hours of continuous use, according to the manual. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the bear up and running during this unboxing, which means there will need to be a part two.

The Bear’s… Performance?

Once in action, the bear’s thrusting mechanism is undeniably strong. In fact, it’s probably the most robust part of the whole experience. The vibrations, on the other hand, left a lot to be desired. They were subtle to the point where I had to strain to hear them over the thrusting motion.

As bizarre as this all was, it made me wonder about its versatility. Could this bear be used for anal play? Well, technically, it might work, but with its rigid design, it’s definitely more suited for vaginal use.

The lack of flexibility in its structure makes it a challenge for anything other than a straight-on experience, especially considering that not everyone’s anatomy is perfectly aligned for such rigidity.

One of the redeeming qualities of this weird bear is its potential for future fun with tech integration. Using devices like the Flipper Zero, there’s a possibility to control this bear remotely. But, that’s a project for another day, and for now, we’re left with a semi-functional bear toy that needs constant recharging to stay in action.

The Big Question: Is It Worth It?

Ultimately, whether or not the bear sex toy is worth its hefty price tag depends on your sense of humor and curiosity. If you’re looking for an experience that’s as much about laughs as it is about pleasure, this might be a fun addition to your collection. However, if you’re hoping for a top-performing sex toy, you might want to look elsewhere.

For me, this bear was more of a novelty — an amusing, albeit confusing, gadget that provided a lot of head-scratching moments. Whether you want to see your stuffed bear come to life in the most unexpected ways or simply need something to make your friends laugh, this toy definitely earns the title of “weird [expletive] bear.”